He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
well most of my day revolves around power hour
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
