Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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