I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
