you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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