After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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