I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
