I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize