Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.

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  (323): No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested. http://tfl.nu/53oj
  Replies (6) Good night (4993) Bad night (767)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.

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  (570): Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high. http://tfl.nu/0v2t
  Replies (35) Good night (6696) Bad night (1316)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up

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  (904): he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up http://tfl.nu/1mju
  Replies (19) Good night (8962) Bad night (1088)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.

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  (484): her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird. http://tfl.nu/16ps
  Replies (15) Good night (4348) Bad night (1241)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.

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  (814): the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently. http://tfl.nu/7dnx
  Replies (6) Good night (3538) Bad night (709)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.

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  (217): Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with. http://tfl.nu/6u23
  Replies (6) Good night (2746) Bad night (807)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship

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  (713): Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship http://tfl.nu/tzas
  Replies (14) Good night (2489) Bad night (1036)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.

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  (330): Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am. http://tfl.nu/jkmt
  Replies (2) Good night (2300) Bad night (830)
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  (975): View more from Missouri

  At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.

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  (975): At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt. http://tfl.nu/pzgf
  Replies (5) Good night (2644) Bad night (694)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.

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  (410): Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop. http://tfl.nu/b326
  Replies (18) Good night (640) Bad night (1429)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed

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  (317): Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed http://tfl.nu/pz1h
  Replies (3) Good night (1093) Bad night (458)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  She seemed pretty into it.

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  (304): I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl. (440): Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that. (304): She seemed pretty into it. http://tfl.nu/8b1w
  Replies (2) Good night (1195) Bad night (595)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.

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  (330): I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes. http://tfl.nu/tcgc
  Replies (1) Good night (269) Bad night (634)
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  (530): View more from California

  Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.

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  (530): Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber. http://tfl.nu/lvwx
  Replies (3) Good night (283) Bad night (498)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.

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  (586): Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed. http://tfl.nu/40ub
  Replies (3) Good night (243) Bad night (586)

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