Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.