wake up i wanna do it froggy style
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.