Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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