Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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