Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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