Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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