Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
