Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
