Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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