hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
You're earring is so big in my mouth
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
