i was born a porn star she said
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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