Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
