Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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