I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
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I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
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My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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