You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
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I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
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God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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