That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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