Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
