Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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