Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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