i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
