i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
