Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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