We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
