ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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