Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
