does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize