YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
