when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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