11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Randomize
