remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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