she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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