I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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