Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
