So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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