I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
