oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
