I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
