You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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