how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
