Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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