scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize