some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
