oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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