How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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