I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
