i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i just google imaged poop.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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