so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
