fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
