It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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