SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
