Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
