Where did you get a picture of my penis
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
