I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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