I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
