See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
