i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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