After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
