I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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